There are numerous variables when we wonder why some people have an increased risk for mental health diagnoses and substance abuse, and others don’t. The one question that should be asked by doctors and other health professionals when they encounter someone who is struggling with addiction/alcoholism is this: What happened to you as a child?
That one question can open the door to healing. Regardless if a person is dealing with anxiety and depression or substance abuse: drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, or sex—the person most likely has turned to substances or vices to numb their feelings. This is the missing piece when it comes to healthcare. Even when medical staff can recognize that a person has a history of childhood trauma, the care never changes, and the go-to solution is still centralized around medication.
When you can understand that feelings are the driver behind some mental health illnesses and addiction, it becomes clear that a cookie cutter approach is not the solution. No one can predict what a person can handle. We all know people who have been through unspeakable tragedies, yet these people have found a way to deal with their pain, heal, and move on with their lives. God bless those who have the genetic make-up to be like that, but for many of us, our thoughts and feelings can be complicated—in fact, they can be scary. The only thing standing between the nonaddicted person and those of us who battled some sort of addiction may be the differences in our childhood experiences. Those who have an abundance of negative or adverse childhood experience are statistically more inclined to abuse drugs or alcohol.
Parenting Matters.
When people think of trauma, they think of drastic occurrences such as child abuse of some sort, but emotional abuse, neglect, chaotic environments, nasty divorces, living in a home where someone has a mental illness, bullying, and/or having a parent who abandons or jets out of their child’s life are traumas as well, and the detrimental impact these incidents have on a child’s life cannot be underestimated.
What if we started to look at childhood as the birthplace of addiction? Could we change the trajectory for some people if there was more early intervention to help families recover from their dysfunction? I believe the answer to that question is an unequivocal and resounding, yes! If we want to combat addiction, we have to go back to where it starts and for many of us, that place is in childhood. When we encounter kids with behavioral problems the first question that should be asked is this: What happened to you?
In Raising the Bottom, I spoke with a chorus of voices who all had additions issues and the one common denominator (for most, not all) was that significant events in their childhood forever altered their perspective, self-esteem, or thinking. For example, children may grow up in a loving home, but there could be some form of sexual abuse or other egregious thing happening to them at the hand of a family friend or other trusted adult. It wasn’t until I started working with kids that I realized how prevalent sexual abuse is and it is one of the most devastating things that can happen to a child. In some cases, added to the trauma is that when kids finally do get enough courage to tell a parent or trusted adult about the abuse, and then if they’re not believed…it’s a soul-crushing blow to their self-worth and self-esteem and you can almost guarantee that that child will eventually turn to illicit substances or alcohol to numb their pain.
Kids who are bullied in school on an ongoing basis stuff a lot of anger and resentment. These children often can’t articulate how bad their pain is and will often act out in destructive ways such as substance abuse, promiscuity, or for example, shoplifting.
Consider the trauma a small child endures when they grow up in a home with parents who constantly fight with their spouses, homes that lack structure, or homes that have open-door policies where strangers wander in and out can also traumatize a child. Where is their safe space? I know of affluent families who host frequent weekend parties and the adults drink so heavily that they spend the night at the party house on a regular basis. What does this do to the four or five-year-old who wakes up Saturday mornings to a house full of strangers instead of cartoons and breakfast? If parents think this sort of behavior doesn’t affect their children—they’re sorely mistaken. The constant surge of cortisol, one of our body’s stress hormones, can wreak havoc on an adolescent’s mental health and lead to long-term problems, both physical and mental.
What if we started to look at childhood as the birthplace of addiction?
Doctors, nurses, therapists, teachers, all may screen kids for abuse, but in our current system, the solution or follow through can cause as much trauma as the incident itself. We have to get out of the business of shuffling children and that’s all Children Protective Services (CPS) seems to do—plop kids in one substandard home after another; as the trauma builds, the child is medicated to help them “cope.” How is our current system acceptable? How does our current system do anything to address the emotional needs of the child? We need to have a more comprehensive plan to help kids besides medicate them. I asked one psychiatrist why they medicated kids who were perfectly fine other than they were having trouble coping in their home environments. His answer: “Well, the theory is is that maybe the medication will help them cope a little better.” It’s outrageous because all the medication does is teach a child that pills are their solution.
Reasons why some people become addicted:
- Genetic predisposition or growing up with active alcoholism or drug abuse in the family.
- Early childhood trauma.
- A dysfunctional home environment that lends itself to a child having low-self esteem
We can’t do anything about a person’s genetic predisposition toward addiction, but we can control two of the factors that increase the chances that someone will turn to substances and that’s where we should focus more of the time, money and energy—on prevention—to create environments that will help teach children coping skills, improve self-esteem, and teach life skills that kids can feel good about and that will help carry with them into adulthood.
I support any research that seeks to figure out addiction, but the three points I make above help explain a large piece of the puzzle. It wasn’t until Dr. Filetti’s study on Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) did anyone realize how early childhood trauma affects a person’s physical and mental health. The idea that children are resilient and that kids can move past and “get over” things is erroneous thinking. Outwardly a child may appear to be fine, but what’s going on in the inside is what matters.
Researchers may try to pin down the reason why addiction happens, but I wonder what sort of polling sample they use.
I’ve worked with hundreds of women over the years, some who went to rehab and others who didn’t, and most are now in recovery. None of them was ever polled, and if they had been, most would say that they came from homes where the parents drank heavily, were alcoholic, or they had some sort of childhood trauma. I suspect one reason why only some people in recovery are included in the research is that so much of the research studies are sponsored by pharmaceutical companies. The only studies that they want to discuss are studies that will point to hyping up one of their drugs, when in fact, the pharmaceutical industry has one goal and that’s to make a profit. No wonder bigpharma and hospitals don’t care to understand that you cannot cure an emotional or a spiritual problem with a chemical.
There is still much to learn about the addicted mind, but I’m going to make the brave statement that I believe there would be far fewer addicts and alcoholics in the world if we offered our children more support, and as a societal whole, became more engaged and aware of the children amongst us that may need a helping hand. We can’t change people and the choices they make, but we can be aware of some of the things that drive addiction and try to minimize the occurrences, such as childhood trauma. Why can’t we start there?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Please leave a comment!
Lisa is the author of the multi-award winning book, Raising the Bottom: Mindful Choices in a Drinking Culture. After short stints where she trained polo horses, worked as a flight attendant, hairdresser, and bartender, she revamped her life and settled in as a registered nurse. For the past twenty-nine years has worked with hundreds of women to overcome alcoholism, live better lives and become better parents. She was prompted to write Raising the Bottom when she realized after twenty plus years of working in hospitals, that doctors and traditional healthcare offer few solutions to women with addiction issues. You can start reading for free on Amazon. Follow her on Twitter @LBoucherAuthor and Instagram