The not-so-subtle internal shift has taken place. Everything feels different; what I care about, what I want to pursue, what I hope to make of each day. The God connection has to come first in my life, and lately, one particular distinction has become crystal clear—that life is all about letting go. In order to live well we have to release those people and things that aren’t good for us.
I believe that every person comes to a crossroad in their life where insight becomes clear, and we get to decide which path we choose: We can compromise our core beliefs and truths to be liked or accepted, or we can stand true to ourselves and let the cards fall where they may. It takes courage to stand on the principles that are important to you. How many people compromise their beliefs in order to be liked? This form of people-pleasing is destructive to your well-being and will eventually leave you feeling dry as dust in the Arizona desert in August. The freedom of knowing that you no longer need to seek approval! What a freedom it is to feel in the marrow of your bones that you are okay as you are and that you can hold true to the beliefs that resonate with your soul regardless of what other people tell you that you should believe, think, or feel.
It takes courage to stand alone, and it is only when you’re willing to stand alone will you find the courage to be true to yourself.
Have we become approval junkies? Are so many people lacking in self-esteem or attention or love that we are willing to compromise our values in order to be loved? These are the sorts of questions that only we can honestly answer for ourselves. No one can know why we do what we do.
“If you find yourself craving approval, you are low on self-love. Stop grasping for a few scraps wherever you can. Go home and make yourself a feast. Love yourself deeply today.”
― Vironika Tugaleva
Motives matter. When you can ask yourself, “what are my motives,” and give yourself an honest answer, you’ll have new insight into your behavior. When we seek approval, like the picture with the chain-link fence at the top of the post, we put a layer of separation between ourselves and our souls. To live well is to live unafraid of what other people will think. It is your life, your happiness that is at stake, and the only approval we ever need is to approve of ourselves. You matter, and what solidifies that sentiment is when you have what I call—a return to self.
Lisa Boucher is the award-winning author of “Raising The Bottom: Making Mindful Choices in Drinking Culture.” She has contributed to notable publications such as Shape Magazine, U.S. News & World Report, The Fix, and is a frequent guest on numerous syndicated radio and podcast shows where she talks about addiction, alcoholism, childhood trauma, and how we can heal. A recovering alcoholic, she has been sober for thirty years and understands the complex nature of addiction and how childhood trauma is often at the root of what ails us. A registered nurse, Lisa believes that traditional healthcare does little to incorporate the mind-body connection, nor does our current culture appreciate the healing power of nature.