Anxiety, depression, and panic attacks are three common complaints that I hear from women; what most women don’t understand or want to hear is that these three maladies often have roots that are soaked in wine.
Let’s time-travel back to middle school age so you can see where I’m going with this: Our wine culture is such that drinking often starts at an early age, perhaps in junior high or high school; some girls are as young as fourteen or fifteen when they have their first beer. For too many, the drinking escalates in high school and continues on through college. By the time women hit their twenties, they find themselves anxious, depressed, and full of panic. Why? One reason is that our emotional growth stops when we pick up a drink. For those who drink heavily, (more than 7 drinks a week according to the NIAA), they have never learned coping skills.
Life throws a lot at us. If we don’t have healthy thought patterns or ways of coping, and alcohol has always been the go to solution to feel better—is it any wonder that women find themselves struggling to gain their equilibrium?
The typical scenario plays out something like this: women find themselves full of anxiety, resentment and fear. They search for relief, but instead of looking toward healthy coping skills, they grab for what’s familiar, and for too many, that familiar thing is alcohol. In addition, any problem, large or small looks daunting when viewed through a boozy perspective. More alcohol is drunk, the problems get worse, the depression deepens…
She may go to the doctor and complain of depression. The doctor will most likely start her on an antidepressant, never thinking to ask about the woman’s drinking or suggest that she not drink. Antidepressants and more wine are consumed. The depression hovers. The cycle of unhappiness and dissatisfaction with life continues.
The dilemma is real, and happens far too often not to discuss. If a person complains of depression, the first thing they should do is stop drinking. Alcohol is a depressant! If you can’t stop drinking in order to feel better then you have your answer right there as to what your problem really is…but no one likes that answer or solution so they look for the next prescription hoping that will be the magic pill–the solution to life; more pills/antidepressants/wine are consumed, and eventually, a feeling of hopelessness envelopes them.
The solution to depression, in many cases, is for the woman to stop drinking, eat right, exercise, and find some cause outside of herself that is bigger than she is to focus her time and energy. Getting out of self is magical. When a person spends their whole day thinking of no one but themselves, my God, who wouldn’t be depressed? None of our lives is perfect.
I’ve seen too many woman look for their solution in shopping, men, sex, vacations…none of those outside things can fix the hole in the soul.
Anxiety and depression can occur from unresolved feelings, low-self esteem, feeling powerless, or the desire to control people and outcomes. Those fallacies of thought are losing propositions; at some point in life if we want to be happy we have to come to the realization that we cannot control the uncontrollable.
What are your coping skills? How can you find your happy place without wine? Let’s talk!