What addiction and alcoholism steal from the world in the form of lost brilliance is incalculable. Think of all of the people who have already died from some form of addiction and the gifts and talents that vanished with them; gifts that were never pursued or shared with the world because the person was mired in addiction.
I question what came first: creativity that renders a person so sensitive to the world and the people around them that they have to self-medicate in order to cope, or is it that more than a few creatives had such dysfunctional or traumatic childhoods that they found their gift as a way to escape from the world or their circumstances because life was too painful to deal with head on?
I would imagine definitive answers to the above questions are about as conclusive as the age-old question: What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I’m pretty sure that there is no certain answer because there are too many variables to say for sure, but the loss of life is not the only reason why we need to tackle addiction. Each one of us is born with gifts and talents that we are to use to contribute to the collective whole. When we miss out on one person’s gift, the whole world misses out.
I see so many young teens who have amazing music, art, or drawing abilities. They sing and dance or draw amazing pictures for the medical staff, and I am struck over and over with the question: Will their talents ever be realized? When you live in a dysfunctional home one of two things will happen: either the person will find strength and channel their pain into their art or some other constructive endeavor, or they will turn to drugs, alcohol, and relationships to try to fulfill the emptiness they feel inside.
Shouldn’t we all wake up to the monumental loss of creativity and brilliance in the world because of addiction? How many brilliant scientists, physicians, artists, pianists have already lost their lives to the needle, pills or booze? How many more people, along with their unique gifts, will snuff out their lives prematurely to suicide?
The loss of lives devastates families, but if you believe that we’re all part of the cosmic whole, we have to realize that when we lose lives to addiction—we all lose.
We all can be part of the solution:
1.) When you see a child in trouble, reach out. Sometimes having one person who a child knows they can depend on and who they feel safe with can be life-changing.
2.) Reject the immature, self-absorbed “wine time” culture in which we live. It’s beyond pitiful the number of mothers who would rather party than parent; people who would rather hang at the bars drinking wine with their friends than stay at home and deal with that difficult child who needs more than what it seems any one person has to give. No one said parenting would be easy, so why do so many parents check out and turn to their own vices in order to cope?
3.) We can make sure that we don’t traumatize our kids with our selfish behavior. Think of divorces that turn into power struggles and usually the kids are the pawn; Think of the children who are left home alone for the weekend as teenagers while the parents flit out of town. Just because a child may be old enough to stay home alone—doesn’t mean that they should. Parents with poor judgment usually act the way they do out of selfishness. They feel entitled to have a break from the kids and so they book their trip whether it makes good sense or not. If you need a break from your kids that bad, call grandma or hire an experienced, trustworthy adult to stay with them. Terrible things can happen when teens are left alone with the keys to the castle.
4.) Check your own behavior: Get help for your own alcohol, Xanax, Valium, Ativan, and other prescription or illicit drug and/or alcohol abuse problems under control.
5.) Don’t project your ailments onto your children: Parents who walk around complaining of depression and then have the audacity to tell their young kids, “You’re going to have depression too—it runs in the family.” That sort of talk sets your child up for instant failure and you can bet that you’ll probably have them medicated for something by the time they’re able to drive a car. Not fair!
The world needs creatives to survive their God-given lives. Can you imagine what a different world if would be if Steve Jobs was mired in addiction and never got to realize his full potential? The world needs each and every person to have the chance to share their gifts. We can all help to nurture talent and help struggling children to find something that they are good at so they too can contribute their gift to the world.
Lisa is the author of the multi-award winning book, Raising the Bottom: Mindful Choices in a Drinking Culture. After short stints where she trained polo horses, worked as a flight attendant, hairdresser, and bartender, she revamped her life and settled in as a registered nurse. For the past twenty-nine years has worked with hundreds of women to overcome alcoholism, live better lives and become better parents. She was prompted to write Raising the Bottom when she realized after twenty plus years of working in hospitals, that doctors and traditional healthcare offer few solutions to women with addiction issues. You can start reading for free on Amazon. Follow her on Twitter @LBoucherAuthor and Instagram.