It may be a skosh early for Christmas bulbs and lights, but it’s not too early to devise a game strategy on how you plan to deal with all the people and festivities that will vie for your time, and if you allow, maybe even steal your peace. As the holidays bear down upon us, for some, it truly is the best time of the year. For others, it can be the most dreaded time of the year. Regardless of where stand—whether you have a big warm family that you can’t wait to spend time with, or maybe you’re mostly alone; if you’re sober, trying to get sober, or a true social drinker; no matter where you are on your journey through life, there are things that we can do to make the holidays more enjoyable for all.

7 Tips to Minimize Stress During the Holiday Season

1. Take care of yourself. Self-care is of the utmost importance, but especially during the holidays when you can be pulled in many directions and it’s not always easy to know where to start or when to stop. Practice setting boundaries. Remember: NO, is a complete sentence. You don’t have to people-please. You don’t have to say, yes, to every request, or demand.
2. Keep the traditions that warm your heart or that make you feel nurtured, but feel free to let go of the ones that drain your energy. You have choices: it’s okay to choose to do things differently this year. Maybe the old way no longer works. Try not to fear change just because it feels uncomfortable.
3. Let go of perfectionism: There is no perfect family. There is no perfect celebration. Go with the flow; free yourself of the need to have things go your way or according to a stringent plan. The holidays are supposed to be fun. Lighten up!
4. Spend time with people you enjoy and minimize the time you spend with those toxic individuals who suck all of the oxygen out of the room.
5. Get enough sleep. Watch your HALTS: Don’t allow yourself to get to Hungary, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.
6. Drinking: If you’re a sensible drinker, continue the sensibility over the holidays. Overindulging on alcohol will only make you feel bloated, tired, and dehydrated. Easy does it. If you’re sober or trying to stay sober, be extra vigilant. Those innocent candies and cakes may be soaked with alcohol. Pay attention, and if all the drinking that you may encounter is too much, feel free to remove yourself from the party—and leave the guilt behind. You’re worth doing whatever it takes to keep sane and sober.
7. Watch your sugar intake. It’s hard to resist all the yummy goodies that will pass your way over the holidays but do try to minimize your sugar intake. Some researchers believe that a diet high in sugar increases the risk for depression by 38%.  Sugar also causes inflammation, and the constant blood sugar swings can zap your energy.

Gifts:

Buy what you can afford and what you want the person to have. When we pick a gift that’s from the heart, how can it not be the perfect gift?

On Family & Friends

Practice letting go: You can’t make people do the right thing. You can’t make others be considerate. All you can do is to make sure to take care of yourself and be accountable for your behavior. When we’re in a good place: mentally, spiritually and physically, it’s much easier to deal with difficult people. Keep in mind, just because you go to the party doesn’t mean that you have to stay for the whole party. Sometimes an early or swift exit is the best gift you can give yourself to help you stay balanced.

On Self:

The Gift of a Quiet Mind and a Peaceful Heart is the goal: If you’re an emotional mess in November and do little to get yourself out of your psychological upheaval—how can you expect to feel any different in December? When we stuff emotions, one way or another they leak out sideways. The holidays will be much more enjoyable when we can be honest with ourselves about our feelings. Psychological health is paramount. Don’t skimp in this area. Talk to someone. Work through whatever is bothering you, BEFORE the big holiday bash!

Dysfunctional emotional responses to life and the people in our lives is what causes our distress. Feelings, real or imagined drive behavior. As I discuss in Raising the Bottom, we have to get our own house in order first. We can’t expect others to do our bidding, and when they don’t do what we think they should do, lash out or become angry.

I love Warren Buffet’s thoughts on the blessings of emotional stability because it sounds like he’s talking about emotional sobriety:

“You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.”

I wish everyone peace, joy, and love. May you all have a blessed holiday season!

Lisa is the author of the multi-award winning book, Raising the Bottom: Mindful Choices in a Drinking Culture. After short stints where she trained polo horses, worked as a flight attendant, hairdresser, and bartender, she revamped her life and settled in as a registered nurse. For the past twenty-nine years has worked with hundreds of women to overcome alcoholism, live better lives and become better parents. She was prompted to write Raising the Bottom when she realized after twenty plus years of working in hospitals, that doctors and traditional healthcare offer few solutions to women with addiction issues. You can start reading for free on Amazon. Follow her on Twitter @LBoucherAuthor and Instagram